By Matthew Newton, Director of Investigations and Crisis Response, Valkyrie
Modern-day lives are now as intertwined online as they are offline. Couples share Apple IDs, family mobile plans, photo libraries, password managers and location apps. This connection also often extends beyond simply the romantic, with business partners also sharing email domains, cloud drives, client lists and social media accounts. Whether the relationship is personal or commercial, this overlap builds up easily and is hard to unwind.
When a relationship ends, the legal process divides the assets: the house, pensions and shares. The digital life the two people built together is often left exactly as it was. This is rarely deliberate; it simply is not on anyone’s list. But a former partner who still has access to an account, a device or a home camera may be able to see, hear and influence far more than either side realises.
Why we are seeing more of it
In our work, digital entanglement is becoming a recurring feature of separations, and several trends are behind this.
- More of the home is connected. Doorbells, cameras, thermostats, smart locks, cars and children’s tablets all have an administrator, and that is usually one partner.
- Technology is designed for sharing. Family plans, shared albums and location sharing are convenient while a relationship lasts. When it ends, the same features can expose one partner to the other.
- Digital assets are real assets. Cryptocurrency, online investment platforms and digital businesses can be easy to overlook in disclosure, and in some cases easy to conceal.
- Separations are longer, costlier and more contested. The more there is on the line, the stronger the incentive to look for an advantage.
- Monitoring tools are cheap and easy to obtain. Spyware apps, GPS trackers and Bluetooth tags cost very little and need no technical skill to use.
Who should be thinking about this
Family lawyers are usually the first professionals to hear about a separation, which puts them in the best position to spot digital risk early. Left unaddressed, it can affect evidence, disclosure, client safety and the confidentiality of case strategy. Family offices face a version of the same problem, because staff, advisers and family members often share administrative access to accounts, systems and properties, and a separation can leave one party with far more access than they should have.
For private clients, particularly those with a public profile or significant wealth, there are added concerns around privacy, reputation, security and the welfare of their children. The same principles apply when business partners part ways. Shared email domains, cloud storage, client data and social media accounts can leave one party with access to commercially sensitive information long after the partnership has ended.
What is at stake if it is overlooked
The areas where couples are typically entangled are accounts and digital identity, devices and the connected home, money and digital assets, communications and family photos, and children’s devices and any shared business. Leaving these untouched can have serious consequences.
- Case strategy can be exposed. If emails, messages or notes are synced to a device the other party can access, their side may effectively be reading a client’s correspondence with their lawyer.
- Evidence can be lost. Accounts closed, photos deleted or messages unsynced in haste can destroy material both parties have a legitimate interest in, and can invite allegations of destroying evidence.
- Assets can go undisclosed. Digital wallets and online platforms can be hard to trace without knowing where to look.
- Control can continue. Shared accounts, location sharing and smart home devices can allow one partner to monitor, restrict or intimidate the other long after they have physically separated.
- Digital risk can become physical risk. Location data, camera feeds and smart locks reveal routines, addresses and movements. Where fixated or coercive behaviour is present, this information can put people in danger.
- Private material can be used as leverage. Threats to leak personal information or intimate images are an increasingly common feature of contentious separations.
What can be done
The good news is that most of this can be managed when it is addressed early and in the right order.
- Ask the right questions at the outset. A few simple questions at first instruction will reveal the extent of a couple’s digital entanglement. Who holds the family Apple or Google account? Where do security codes go? Who controls the home network and cameras?
- Map the digital footprint. An audit establishes what is shared, what is linked, who has administrator access, and what is already in place. It provides a clear picture before any decisions are made.
- Preserve before you remove. Material that may be needed as evidence, or that both parties value, such as family photos, should be secured properly before anything is changed or deleted.
- Sequence the separation. The instinct is to change every password immediately. Where there is any concern about monitoring or controlling behaviour, doing so too early can alert the other party and destroy evidence. Specialist advice on timing matters.
- Keep good digital housekeeping. Once it is safe to do so, each person should have their own accounts, devices, security codes and recovery details, with nothing routed through the other party.
- Do not investigate the other party yourself. Accessing someone else’s phone, email or accounts without permission can be a criminal offence and can seriously damage a case. Take advice first.
Some warning signs call for immediate action rather than routine planning. These include a client who suspects they are being tracked or recorded, finds unfamiliar apps on their devices, is locked out of accounts, or is being threatened with the release of private material.
If you or someone you are advising is in immediate danger, call 999. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free and open 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.
Make digital separation part of the first conversation
Digital entanglement should be treated as a standard part of any separation, alongside property, finances and children. The cheapest and safest intervention is the one that happens before accounts are changed and positions harden.
The risks rarely stay in one place. Digital access can lead to physical risk, a dispute over a photo library can become an evidence issue, and a leaked message can become a reputational crisis.
Valkyrie’s experience allows us to consider and respond to all aspects of the digital divorce: cyber security and electronic countermeasures, digital forensics, investigations, physical security and crisis response. In practice that can mean checking a phone for spyware through mobile device forensics, sweeping a home or car for hidden devices with a residential or vehicle sweep, or responding to threats to release private material through our kidnap, ransom and extortion specialists. Valkyrie works discreetly alongside legal teams and family offices to protect clients and preserve evidence to a standard that can stand up in proceedings.
For a wider guide, see our digital divorce and family disputes page. To discuss a matter in confidence, contact us.
