Stalking/Harassment
Harassment is extremely unpleasant and malicious behaviour that causes upset and distress – and it’s something no one should put up with. 80% of victims of stalking are female and the majority of their stalkers are male. Stalkers can be any age. Victims can be stalked for years with the average case lasting 15 months. But many incidents last longer – 30% per cent of people who have been stalked experience stalking for over 2 years. In the majority of cases the victims of stalking know their stalker, in 45% of all cases an ex-partner is involved. However, whether victims know the person or not, there are a number of measures that assist in disempowering stalkers and help protect from being targeted and tracked.
Stalking became a criminal offence on November 25th, 2012. It includes repeated attempts to impose unwanted communications and/or contacts on another in a manner that could be expected to cause distress and/or fear in any reasonable person.
Clearly there is no simple solution to all incidents of stalking. However, experts advise the following ‘golden rules’ that should be followed if you find yourself the victim of stalking or harassment:
Have NO contact with the stalker:
After the stalker has been told by the victim in a calm, clear and firm manner that their attention is unwanted and that they are to stop all contact, the victim, their family and friends should have no further contact with the stalker. Stalkers want a reaction whether it’s positive or negative. It is crucial to ensure:
Everyone involved understands the importance of not appealing to the stalker to stop, threatening them or retaliating to provocation
Ideally the police should be the only ones to confront the stalker
If there is accidental contact with the stalker, the victim should try not to show any emotion and leave the situation as soon as possible i. Seek refuge in a safe location (shop or business)
Call the police if the stalker continues to try to interact
Inform trusted people:
Although many stalking victims are reluctant to inform others of what they are going through, it is important that those around the victim know what’s going on. This includes family, friends, co-habitants, work colleagues and even neighbours. By explaining the situation the victim can:
Reduce the possibility of others inadvertently providing information to the stalker or access to the victim
Alert them to the significance of any events they may witness
Helps to provide stronger evidence should the case go to court
Obtain the necessary support to get through the situation
Increase personal protection:
Vary daily routines e.g. the route/times going work, gym or other frequently attended locations
Alter your appearance with the use of hats, different styles of clothes etc.
Know the location of the closest police station and those along the routes frequently travelled
Keep a list of critical telephone numbers including emergency services and other supports next to your home telephone and have them on your mobile
Where possible avoid walking alone at night or in quiet remote areas
Consider a personal duress alarm
Let people know where you are going and for how long
Check your car before getting in – e.g. tracking devices
Always keep your mobile telephone on you at all times so you can call for assistance
Develop a basic safety plan that includes how to exit your home quickly and move to a safe place
Collect evidence:
This is crucial in preparing a case against the stalker and it cannot be overestimated how important it is to keep all evidence and document your encounters and experience: a. Compile a journal that is a chronological summary of events from that first day through to the present. Keep it brief and include everything you can remember, even if it seems trivial, and record dates, times, and witnesses to the encounters. Include telephone calls, items left or sent and any encounters with the stalker. You may start to see a set pattern develop – Save everything
Online:
Restrict your social media posts to your friends and not public
Check privacy settings on social networking sites and limit the amount of information you supply
Google yourself frequently to check your digital footprint
Don’t use the same password for every account and change them regularly
Be aware of geolocation and tagging on social networking sites and ensure that it’s disabled on your phone
Keep your antivirus software up to date
Report stalking to website administrators
If you believe that your phone or computer has been hacked or compromised, stop using it immediately and take it to your mobile phone provider or computer repair experts for advice
Answering the phone:
Don’t answer the phone with your address or phone number
If the caller is not known to you, avoid answering questions about yourself, no matter how genuine they sound
As a general rule, don’t answer calls to unknown numbers or ID withheld numbers
If you have an answering machine, it’s advisable not to include your name or number in the outgoing message
The message should never tell people that you are out or away; try to give the impression that you are only temporarily unable to answer: e.g. ‘Sorry, I can’t get to the phone right now, so please leave your name and number and I’ll get right back to you’
If you’re listed in any directories, you might want to give your initials and surname rather than your full name
Never show anger or fear over the phone – remain calm, confident and if necessary, assertive
General mistakes made by victims of stalking:
Provide too much information about themselves to people they don’t know
Provide too much information online/on social-media
Not giving a clear calm message that they are not interested in a relationship
Not listening to their intuition/gut feeling
Ignoring early warning signs
Not taking the situation seriously
Interacting with a stalker
Trying to reason with a stalker
Blaming themselves
Not taking adequate privacy and safety precautions
Failing to obtain support from others either personally or professionally
Expecting police to solve quickly
Ignoring emotional needs during/after stalking events
At Valkyrie, we are, and have been, dealing with a number of victims of stalking. If you feel you are being stalked, DO NOT ignore it! Call the police and contact us at E: security@valkyrie.co.uk | T: +44 (0) 20 7499 9323
